Mourning Doreen Ruto: Reflections from George Wachira

Dear Florence, Colleagues,
Apologies for this long email. From the distance, it is the least I can do to mourn and celebrate Doreen Ruto.
I learnt of Doreen's passing with a deep sense of loss and sadness. It is a truly confounding loss: for her family, country, and professional colleagues around the world. I extend my condolences to all her work colleagues, friends and family. I particularly convey my sympathy to her children Biko and Kiptoo. Their pain and bewilderment must be profound. May we all embrace them with supportive care.
I got to know Doreen in early 2008 when she called me on phone and introduced herself. At the time Kenya was in the throes of the unprecedented post-2007 elections crisis and violence. Working out of the Serena Hotel for most of that period, I was part of a group of Kenyans who quickly came together under the banner of Concerned Citizens for Peace (CCP) to try whatever we could do to pull the country back from the precipice. During that season of pain and anguish I soon discovered how lucky and gifted Kenya was, being home to a corps (and a strong core) of dedicated, passionate, strategic and well-trained peacemakers, mobilizers, organizers, communicators, bridge-builders, connectors, writers, etc. It was simply incredible: the coming together of talented and strategic thinkers, organizers and doers, the creativity and enthusiasm of the young, the wisdom and the restraint of the seasoned and experienced, the theoretical grounding and analysis of professionals. It is credit to this corps that CCP came to play a key role in the efforts to save Kenya.  And Kenya was saved. Doreen was one of these talented Kenyans.
Doreen’s particular training and passion was in the area of trauma counselling, healing and reconciliation. As she reminded us several times at CCP meetings, this is a much neglected area. She spoke about the need for us all at CCP to be keenly aware of how much grief and pain we were absorbing and how this affects us. ‘Who takes care of the peacemaker?’ she asked, and went on to give tips on how to take care of ourselves. In those days of tension, mistrust and fear, dynamics in ethnically diverse spaces became a concern within CCP and its several off-shoots. Doreen was one of several persons who took up the challenge of dealing with workplace tensions through holding workshops.
One particularly difficult morning, everything seemed to be falling apart. As was the ritual at the CCP Open Forum, we had spent the first part of the morning reviewing events and receiving reports of the latest developments. The previous day had been particularly violent and many lives had been lost, while the political process appeared to be hopelessly stuck. Even for the most focused strategists in the group, it was a difficult and sad day. Emotions were high and tears flowed for Kenya and the dead. During a break, Doreen came to me and said, “George are you taking care of yourself? Remember to breathe.” Simple enough advice but one that was laden with caring concern—and foresight.
Months later after the Kenyan storm had passed my health took a hit. Even after multiple visits to different doctors and all manner of tests, neither I nor the doctors could pinpoint the problem beyond the broad diagnosis of ‘compromised immunity’—which ironically resulted in more anxiety! It was only in mid-2009 that it was possible to zero in on the more psychological underpinnings of my ill-health. And I have remembered Doreen and her advice since.
It was only later in my interactions with Doreen and from reading about her that I got to know her story: one of a sudden, painful loss, but also one of amazing resilience, resolve and rebound. She found a new calling and followed it passionately. She was perhaps our best, most well-rounded authority on the interface between psychological trauma, healing, reconciliation and peace.
For me, Doreen’s passing calls to mind the similarly painful departure of other illustrious colleagues in our field of peacebuilding, most prominently Rose Barmasai (1999) and Dekha Ibrahim (2011). Like Doreen’s, their departures were abrupt and truly devastating. Without exaggeration, these colleagues are irreplaceable.
I mourn this new loss. I pray for Doreen’s repose. I pray for Biko and Kiptoo. I pray that Doreen’s work lives on. I pray that we remember her, always.
Fare thee well, my sister. Peace
George

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